The constant presence of death somewhere close by is bedevilling, rushing. Will there be a tomorrow? This feeling urges to look into the eyes of death and.... Hurry up? To exhale and go on as before. As the beads of the rosary fall one by one. One, two, three.

Secrets and mystery - serious, shameful, strange, scary, childish, ridiculous - burn and stand as smoke in the throat. They hide them while they have strength, until the pied piper's whistle sounds. And then they run. They run into the light, become visible, clear. What would it cost to hide them again? To grab that fire, to catch that smoke, to silence the all-powerful pied piper?

Even when the snow has already fallen, when the cold has killed life around you, you will have the strength to stand up - despite the cold, despite the snow, despite death. Like the last chrysanthemums under the prickly snowflakes - bright and alive when everything has dried up, rotted, died. But they still bloom, just like you.

When you go into the darkness to bring forth light, who will support you? What will give you strength and confidence? But you already know that with every step you take, a big star or a small lantern will flash somewhere. That with every move you make, someone will have the opportunity to create their own Universe. So continue your dance, the music has already started playing for you.

It's hard to look straight into the eyes of your sadness, your grief, your regret, not to turn away, to live it out. It's hard to see how it seeping into your life, sprouting, bearing fruit. One day it will become a reminiscence, a memory. Right now it is life that demands its own.

Which is scarier and more dangerous - war outside or war inside? Which of them will destroy you faster? Often you are at war with yourself. And it is'nt help you to make you better or happier. And the least of all it help you to save you from a war outside.

What was in the past? Joy, sadness, falls, achievements, humiliation, shame, weakness, upsurge, anger, hatred, epiphany, strength, mistakes, caring, estrangement, loneliness, belonging, and love. A whole tangle of events, feelings, affairs. What were you able to get out of it all? Everything you embodied in one thing: greatness, your Crown, your dignity.

In a little while the world will explode, shatter into pieces, scraps, atoms. Everything around will lose its shape and form, and perhaps disappear totaly. The moment of the highest pleasure is the moment of disappearance of the old world and the creation of the new world. The same particles combine into new forms. A little different than they were, slightly another. No one around you can see it. But you know and see it precisely, clearly, from the deep inside.

Since olden days, we have been praying to our gods for the innermost thoughts. About things that is hidden in the depths of our souls. And we hope that these prayers will float up like goldfishes and fulfill our wishes. Are these gods real indeed? Are our prayers realy sacred? Are these goldfish so almighty? We can play this melody for ourselves and the gods, in hope that we will be heard. If the water is clear, if we are honest. Realy honest with ourself.

What is her words? You would like to think that they are sweet and limpid. But they can be tart, bitter, intoxicating, viscous. How were they born to her? From bright and clear thoughts, feelings. But they can come from poisonous grievances and melancholy. Will they stinging? May they heal after all like honey from fragrant spring days and summer viscous sunny hours?

How to throw off all those absurd and pretentious armor that we grow over during our lives? Someone will consider that they cannot be removed, that they are needed, they cover so secure the real things that we are afraid to show. It is so customary to hide behind them, but how tight they grow in, press and bend to the ground. Here is another halt on the way. May be you take off and see what is left there under them?

Who has the advantage in all these power and submission games? Where do the threads lead and who pulls them? Who gets honey and who gets sting? Try to unravel these knots, trace the movement, delve into the feelings. And may be you will be able to find an answer.

Overly passionate dreams and reverie can turn into suffering and running in a vicious circle. They will sprout inside like a blackthorn with tart berries. Even if the one bluebird arrives, will it be able to satisfy these dreams or make the thorns' pricks more tender?

Feelings, thoughts, sensations overwhelm to the brim, to the very depths, to the core. What fills the tank of your body? What is outgush out? What's left inside? Her body is like the Grail that gives all the answers. Or...

How can our feelings, our emotions change under the influence, from manipulation, from someone's influences - from love to indifference, from abhorrence to interest, from joy to sadness, from laughter to tears. They can change shades and tones like a chameleon. And also they can to catch that fleeting feeling of complete merging with the environment. But we have only to feel the bearing in ourself, and all these chaotic overflows of color and shades find their tone, their place in our world.

Not every grain is capable to germinate. Just like not every ray of light is capable to give the life. Not every feather is capable to prolong the flight. Not every dagger's edge is capable to impale. Not every predator is able to catch it's prey. And not every victim is condemned to perish. How can cognition help to throw light on, to save from, to lead to? you could step up your game a little to find out?

There is a day when everything goes wrong - falls out of hand, crumbles, breaks, deteriorates. And then they appear from the depths - the horsemen of the Apocalypse. They sweep away everything in their path, destroy what is left. And hell follows them. Do you have a weapon from your own hell? Will it work? How good are you with this weapon? And how well do you know your own hell, if you are the rider of all these horses?

For whom the Bell Tolls? Who is it ringing for? The bell of your emotions, feelings, sensations. What can you hear in this ringing? Joy, sadness, anger, resentment, jealousy, passion, rage? Who can hear this ringing? Until you grow the ability to hear your own bell, you will not know what is living inside you, what air you are breathing.

Which fire burns harder - a real one from the outside or a fire of passions from the inside? What water can extinguish passions that incinerate us from the inside? Anger, hatred, resentment, guilt or revenge, unrequited love, a thirst for power, sex, reciprocity - what can extinguish them except death? What kind of magic can we stop this fire? Words, acts or time do not always cope. If you look for the same desire to understand yourself, it may work. It will turn out to make the fire warming.

Edelweiss on a cliff, among the stones, under the wind, blooms in spite of all the difficulties and storms. Or maybe thanks to them? When do you overcome difficulties and achieve your goal - is it contrary to or thanks? Are you getting better? Or scars, wounds and scratches make your body and soul worse?

We attach a special sense to a lot of things. Moreover, we are often afraid to delve into the meaning that these phenomena have for us. To reveal the essence, to reach the depth, to clear from the superficial, to taste, to understand. It doesn't matter what exactly bothers us. The meaning may remain hidden.

How often does circumstances, events, relationships, stresses and crises cover us, like an ice? Presses, stops and depresses. It is difficult to go further, enjoy successes, smiles of loved people, your achievements and dreams. How difficult it is to break through this ice, inhale and live on. And yet we try, crash to the blood and break through further. And sometimes the ice is illusory, although oppressive no less.

How to see the beautiful in that which is constantly changing, slipping away, turning upside down? How not to go blind or lose landmarks? Is it possible to turn this stream into something useful? Or should it be allowed to live independently and not interfere? Where is your place in this flow from a flower to a drop of honey?

Events are bringing so many experiences, hustle and bustle for us. But are we really so calm inwardly? How many storms, gales and even hurricanes go unnoticed not only for others, but also for ourselves. How many deep fears, worries, various emotions remain unidentified and uninhabited. It is not always clear even to ourselves - what waves are carrying our ship on. And the path of ship is not clear.

Dreams, fantasies, hazy desires are so fragile and vulnerable. They are easy to be frighten, break, kill, spoil. And it's so hard to see them embodied in life. They fly somewhere inaccessible, elusive. Try to catch and hold them, tame and become tangible.

Whose song are you singing? Is it yours? Often, other people's songs are so shrink onto the skin, into the soul, they sound in your head and you even don't notice how you sing a completely other's stock motive. You turn into a beautiful music box, whose handle twirl someone else's hand.

God and Angels

He holds everything, He create everything. He is neither higher nor lower, He is everywhere. He makes everything move, interact, live. Eternal deep space inside, outside, everywhere. All-consuming, all-generating - God.

And the five angel have soared. From His connection with the world grass are grows, trees are turn green, flowers are open and the fruits are ripen. The forces of vital juices flow through the stems and trunks. Reborn and die. Reaching for the sky from the earth. From darkness to darkness through the light...

And the fourth angel have soared. All-penetrating and flowing water can both give life, and wash everything off the surface, pull it into the depths. Water can soar into the sky, penetrate into the depths of the earth and there, invisible to the eyes, drink, revive and help rise higher and higher.

And the third angel have soared. The gift of the depths, refined down by the power of thought, desire and will, becomes flexible and useful. His help is great and universal. He helps to get out of the darkness of helplessness to the light of omnipotence to those who might, know and act.

And the second angel have soared. Heat and light warm the body and illuminate the soul. Flames bursting from the very depths upwards - bright and inevitable. If you gape a little, scared and you would be burn to the ground. The wise of salamander will follow a narrow path between the soulless cold and the incinerating passion.

And the first angel have soared. The breath of life, invisible and impalpable. Air, wind, gust, flight and aspiration. There is no life without Him. Without life, there is no aspiration, achievement, joy. The invisible connection between the Cosmos and the generating earth.

What can melt distrust, avoid misunderstanding, calm hostility? There are many ways. One of them is frankness and openness. Open your heart, stand unarmed. Maybe it will kill, or maybe it will melt the ice and show the real attitude.

Misses, mistakes, misunderstandings, grievances accumulate and are molded on each other like a snowball. They wound, hurt, scratch from the inside. How to heal yourself? How to dispose of aching splinter that causes regrets about words, deeds, actions, choices? Where is that cleansing tear that will wash away annoying sensations, heal scratches, scar wounds, melt the ice that bound the body and soul?

A second before the choice, when you still don't know that this will happen, you freeze in space - nowhere, nobody, for nothing. Transience, timelessness and emptiness. As in a fog - you can't see where you are stepping, what is around, you don't always really see yourself. Just a moment of nothingness and everything continues on.

Fears feed on your fatigue, failure, doubt. They come at dusk, appear suddenly and eagerly glare at you, sharp, cold, dead. The point that you need to remember where are stored your weapons, skills, joys, confidence. You need to have time to get it. After all, fears are afraid of rebuff.

There is such a moment in life when you need, like an angel from the Apocalypse, to roll the sky and put the end to everything. To leave the darkness behind, wait out the thunderstorm and see the sun again. Sometimes the moon and stars are not enough. And you need to roll the heaven and become your guardian angel. Not for the sake of completing everything, but to begin a new stage in your life.

The world is full of compromises, understandings, conventions, stereotypes. They help in relationships, make life easier. More closely, they should help and facilitate. But if they are accepted on faith and the unchanging they often interfere, hide the true essence of things, relationships, understanding ourselves. And then honesty can come to the fore. First of all it's truth with ourselves. Cut the overgrown crust, release life, passion, thirst to act, see and hear. And show us ourselves.

We enclose the most intimate, the most experienced, with mystery and silence. We conclude it in the crystal of our hopes. We keep and hide it from everybody until it will grow ripe and stronger, woudn't give fruit, will not come to light even through the thickness and hardness of the crystal. Clear, fragile and so beautiful.

Our joys live and die. Turn into routine and habits. Losing wings. Break down the songs. They fade and fall off. And nobody else but we can breathe new life, new colors and new meanings into them.

From time to time we feel bad, difficult, hard, disgusting. The sun sets in our world, in our garden. Everything becomes dark and unclear. Misty twilight hides from us what is important and necessary. It's in our power to keep the sun and not let it go for good, retrieve strength, hope and light.

Our thoughts, desires, knowledge, feelings melt inside us and turn into actions and aspirations. And they lead us further to our victories, failures, achievements, relationships, in turn, to help us understand, comprehend and achieve what we want. Ideally, when it is easy, as on the wave crest miraculously. Easy as flying dandelion seed. And as clear as a whisper of the soul.

A lot of unpleasant, terrible things happen to us in life, which causes pain, rejection, sadness, grief. All this things leaves it's cracks on each of us. And we, as we can, close up these cracks. Sometimes we try to hide them, sometimes we stick it out. Can we make them our possession? Gold streaks like in Japanese art Kintsugi. After all, this gold shows how we became ourselves, how we lived our lives, how we learned our lessons. This is our golden pattern of experience and knowledge.

Sometimes, someone more often, someone less, we try to achieve maximum freedom in matters, thoughts, feelings that are important to us. But something holds and prevents - debt, guilt, stereotypes hammered into our head, lack of effort or time. And then we expect that someone or something will appear and help us, hold up, give wings, give inspiration and flight. And we will find the long-awaited freedom. And behind the back already opened wings.

How often do we choose what we need in our essence from all the options? Choose something necessary specially for us, and not imposed by someone's standards blindly. It'is accepted, it's nice, it's wanted, because everyone is doing it. All pleasant people to us do it such way. We don't think about this, couldn't rate this and burned ourselfs. And the fire, which can light us our way, is aimlessly extinguished. How to step more carefully and don't put out it?

How often we are carried away by the momentary, imposed and common things, giving up our deepest desires, preferences, pleasures and necessities. Although they here, in us, rise in a wave and don't give rest. Ready to express themselves, give a new chance, calm and make us ourself as much as we can at all. But we get scared and hide them further back deep, being satisfied with the next glass beads.

The heat under the skin can burn into ashes if it is carefully hidden. Or paint the world with bright colors, and life with bright emotions, if you know how to handle it. Then passion can bring us back to ourselves and give infinite strength to reunite with ourselves and the world.